No broken bones or black eyes as a prerequisite
Real life experiences no matter who you are or where you have come from. Living in a judgement free zone embracing life that is “the beautiful you”.
Life growing up was really good fun for Penelope. Filled with memories of hearty laughter and girly giggles, great friendships, family, travel and a feeling of being safe and loved.
Anyone who truly knows Penelope knows she is the sort of person who embraces life to the fullest; someone who surrounds herself with people from all over the world. Such a diverse gathering of cultures brought together in friendship makes her genuinely happy.
Penelope always had an “innerbody” feeling for unity, peace and justice in the world, and while unsure how to bring her dream to pass she decided to employ her innate gift for forming friendships and her lifelong interest in foreign languages and cultures to start making a change: as a youngster she travelled to multiple overseas destinations, making friends and sharing ideals, and she has continued in this manner through her life’s journey.
Once adulthood had firmed its grasp on Penelope the amazing experiences dwindled and life suddenly wasn’t so fun and lighthearted. ‘Sunny days were becoming less and smiles fewer and far between, which seemed to be replaced with an incredible heaviness in the heart,’ she reflects. Her sense of inner peace had vanished, and functioning at the thrilling speed of ‘full throttle’ became a distant memory. Each day blurred into the next, until yesterday was indistinguishable from today. Years passed by, dreams unfulfilled, life paused at the beginning of her story. This wasn’t what she had envisioned for herself (or for her children).
It took years for Penelope to realise, or admit to herself, that certain behaviours were unacceptable; that she and her babies deserved so much better. Once this understanding took hold she knew she had to save herself, and her children, before it was too late. She wanted the frivolity of her earlier years, the lightness of heart she’d cherished, and desired to give her children the upbringing they deserved – the contentment, love, and stability they all craved.
She built up her strength and conviction, and made the frightening decision to stand up and declare ‘No more!’ With incredible courage she removed the threat from her family situation and shut DV out of her day-to-day existence. It wasn’t simply the loss of friends and abandonment or that life was so ‘revolting’; she’d realised her voice and self-worth had withered beneath the imposing character of another, and she wanted nothing more than to snatch back that vitality, that brightness of soul that had reached out and befriended so many during her youth.
People often see ‘freedom’ as the hardest choice to make, but for Penelope it was the only choice. From this first step she delved deep, reaching for an inner strength that had been beaten into submission, and braced herself to make a stand against the control, coercion, narcissism, emotional torture, intimidation and other forms of abuse impressed upon herself and her children. She wasn’t ‘crazy’, she didn’t have a ‘personality disorder’; she was a woman who had been pushed so far that the only direction now was out the door.
Sharing such experiences are hard when most demand proof, and without broken bones or black eyes or other bruising to ‘display’, this could have proved a challenge. In Penelope’s own words, ‘Time proved this was a marathon, and not just a sprint to the finish line.’ Though she had no visible scars, emotional trauma can be just as harmful, if not more so. Penelope had to find the strength to ‘cut through’ the pain, eventually overcome, and finally to heal. ‘No matter who you are or where you come from, living with any type of abuse is not on’.
The steps she employed are:
- Realise the life you are living is not worthy of you;
- Overcome the anxiety of standing up and speaking out;
- Give yourself time and the opportunity to heal as ‘blessed you shall be with a new life and a new you’.
In Penelope’s own words:
“The Before & The Realisation” – Living inside the dark walls of control and coercion allows intimidating abuse and anger to reign. Unable to speak out for fear of continual confrontation and feeling lost. What is this life? Just a bad relationship or is it a way of life, is it to be MY way of life?
“The After, the Now & Overcome” – Enough is enough. Lock out, stand up, report and speak up. Be surrounded by trusted support for there may be tears, minimal friends, no belief or understanding, loss of home and financial independence, total loss of self worth.
“Heal” – Be true to who you are and happiness can reign. Do the work on yourself, open the heart and move forward with each new step, no rush. A good life is waiting to embrace you; you simply have to embrace it first.
Imagine looking at your life as a movie and you are the STAR. Ask the question “Is this the movie you really want to be in?” Or is it not what you had planned for yourself? Not the movie you want to watch anymore? Let’s firstly stand up then pause for a moment. Time to create a new movie.
Put down your old box of popcorn and create your new life now. Freshen up and keep moving forward, it feels great!’
It’s a wonderful life, let’s live again.
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This profile was crafted by Amber Averay The Enchantment Wordsmith